


And in the middle of my chaos, there was you.

by WhimsicalGypsy



Series: All things Cullrian [6]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Anal Sex, Fluff and Smut, Love, M/M, Sex, battles, lots of love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 10:48:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9436829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhimsicalGypsy/pseuds/WhimsicalGypsy
Summary: Events at Adamant, Cullen sees Dorian fall through a rift and comes to realise just how much he loves him. Smut at the beginning and end.





	1. Chapter 1

The thrill of Halamshiral quickly dissolved in the preparations for Adamant, Dorian had spent all morning with the inquisitor, Cole and Solas in the rotunda below the library coming up with a plan between them. It was early afternoon and, with a plan in place they adjourned for the day. Dorian, stiff from sitting hunched over a table all morning sighed as he walked through the great hall, he worked out the creaks in his shoulders and his spine cracked mid stride. He jogged down the stone steps outside and saw Commander Cullen sitting at a long wooden table surrounded by troops, they were having lunch, talking and laughing jovially. 

It warmed Dorians heart to see him like this, to see Cullen sitting with his men, not at the head of the table, but with them, among them. It was one of the many things he loved about him, that he never saw himself as better, because he was their leader, he acted as though each one was his brother. From the most seasoned veterans to the newest conscripts. He was immersed in whatever story he was telling, hands gesturing around wildly, booming laughter from the table, Dorian headed towards to kitchens in the hope to pilfer some lunch when Cullen, having spotted him, called him over.

Dorians steps turned hesitant, there was an awful lots of templars at that table, and though their relationship was no longer private, Dorian was still getting to grips with that. He angled towards Cullen, wondering where to seat himself when the soldiers moved and a space opened up next to Cullen. He sat and Cullen smiled, kissing his cheek, resting a hand on his thigh.  
“Everything alright? I thought the Herald might be keeping you hostage” Everyone started tucking into their food, Cullen loaded up a plate for Dorian, Dorian wasn’t used to meals this way, grab a plate and stack it with whatever you can grab before its gone, it made him nervous. Cullen, unperturbed, grabbed a bit of everything, and merrily batted a soldier away from the bread rolls.  
“Mm? Oh everything’s fine we were just going over our plan, I’m not sure how many times you can go over the same thing he must think we’re simple” Dorian suppressed a jump as the soldiers near him laughed.  
“The Commander is the same with us, “Don’t forget we’re fighting demons, watch for fire!””   
“There’s a shield in your hand, block with it!” Another recruit chimed in a terrible imitation of Cullens voice.   
More soldiers joined in.  
“You there, move your feet! Are you a tree?”  
“The Maker gave you two hands for a reason, use them!”  
Everyone was laughing now, Dorian glanced at Cullen who was blushing beautifully and silently laughing, shaking his head.  
“You, you fight like a hedgehog!”   
“Stand your ground you’re moving too much, are you a rare breed of Halla?”   
“Your sword is not a club, it is an extension of your arm, do not whack anyone with it!”  
Cullen threw his head back and laughed, his eyes closed, slumped in his seat, his hands resting on his toned stomach, Dorian laughed quietly, it was interesting to hear what he was like from their point of view.  
“Yes yes laugh all you want my job is to keep you all alive” Cullen sat up, wiping his eyes.  
“Yes and you do it well, we’re all so very grateful for our lives we are but humble men among our fearless, life keeping leader”   
A templar beside Cullen bowed in mocked gratitude causing another wave of laughter. Cullen threw a chicken bone at the man while laughing, Dorian started eating, he’d never known camaraderie like this, but he found himself enjoying it.   
“Dorian do you know everyone? This is Ser Barris, and this is Ser Rylen, Ser Nestor..” And on it went until Dorian was drowning in a sea of titles and names he forgot as soon as he was told, but he nodded a greeting to each, and shook hands with those closest. Cullen, now addressing the table,  
“And this is Dorian of House Pavus, from Tevinter” Dorian inclined his head, bowing slightly more out of habit than need.   
“So you’re the evil magister who has stolen the Commanders heart” a soldier next to Ser Barris commented, some of the younger recruits gawked. Dorian, not missing a beat,  
“Yes afraid so, I plan to perform some blood magic with it later on, naked, surrounded by smoke” Dorian hoped he hadn’t taken the joke too far, to his relief the soldiers laughed.   
“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind the naked part” the soldier scoffed, Cullen half heartedly lunged across the table at him. Settling back down Cullen started,  
“Dorian I was discussing with the men the other day how it might be beneficial to train with a mage, what do you think?” Cullen watched him, as did the other soldiers, though friendly, their eyes were intense.   
“I think it sounds like a great idea” Dorian did truly, Cullen smiled happily as he started planning out mage – warrior training drills, his hand had returned to Dorians thigh, Dorian covered it with his own and gave his fingers a gentle squeeze, in return Cullen rubbed small circles into Dorians palm with the pad of his thumb. 

Everyone was talking amongst themselves, Dorian was discussing mage offensive spells to a recruit named Farley who sat to his immediate left, entirely enthralled in the conversation Dorian thought the boy must be quite new to this.  
“Dorian! Hate to pull you away but we need to talk about Adamant, there are maps I want to show you” The inquisitor strode over to them, papers in hand. He started chatting to a few recruits at the far end of the table. Dorian sighed and looked to Cullen,   
“Later?”   
“Later.” Dorian stood and Cullen kissed the hand he was still holding, smiling Dorian left with the Herald.


	2. Chapter 2

They were to march on Adamant tomorrow, and Skyhold was abuzz with nervous excitement. The anticipation of what was to come made Dorian feel sick, he couldn’t bare to think of who they might lose. He was stewing in these thoughts when Cullen found him, curled into a chair in the library, his meeting with the inquisitor having ended some time ago, silent tears making tracks down his cheeks. Dorian hadn’t realised he was crying, Cullen didn’t say a word, just held out his hand for Dorian to take and led them back to Dorians chambers.   
As soon as the door was closed Cullen was kissing him, Dorian sobbed and leaned into the contact, needing to feel the Commander, he couldn’t stop crying,  
“What if-?” Cullen cut Dorian off with a kiss,  
“Hush” He began pulling Dorians clothes off  
“But what if one of us-?” Another kiss,  
“Don’t think of such things” Cullens hands were everywhere, he was pressing kisses into Dorians neck. His words made Dorian angry, don’t think of such things? How could he think of anything but? Dorian pushed him away,   
“What a ridiculous thing to say, if you think I’m not going to worry about-“ Dorian cut himself off this time, realising Cullen too, was crying.   
“Oh Amatus, I’m so sorry” He had been selfish in thinking he was alone with such worries.  
“I know how it feels, love, I feel it every time you leave on a mission, every second I’m not with you I worry. I have faith in you, in this cause, I know we can make it through, that’s all that keeps me from losing my mind to it. Losing you, I couldn’t bear it” The hold eachother, still standing, half naked, crying together.

Dorian kissed Cullen hungrily, needing affirmation that they are alive, they are here, and they can beat anything. Cullen lifts Dorian and lays him on the bed, settling his weight atop him he grinds his hips down, making Dorian moan in frustration. After some clumsy fumbling there are no layers between them, hot skin pressed together, Cullen resting on his elbows, kissing Dorian as though he might die if he stops.   
Dorians hands rest on Cullens shoulder blades as he feels the blunt head of his thick cock pressing against his entrance, Cullen kisses his tears away, burying himself entirely in Dorians hole. They lay like that for a moment, just kissing, as close as two people can possibly be. Cullen rocks his hips sending lightening through Dorians sweet spot, he gasps at the sensation, Cullen builds to an agonisingly slow pace, hitting his prostate every time, it’s like fireworks going off for Dorian, he can feel his release rushing forward.  
“I love you, Amatus” He breathes into the Commanders ear, his hips stutter, his thrusts become harder.  
“I love you so much, Dori” He moans, taking Dorians leaking cock in hand and strokes him in time with his thrusts, they come together, Dorians seed striping his body and Cullens spilled deep within him. They made love a lot that night, sleepily, slowly, sensually by the morning they were so wrapped in one another it was hard to tell where one man ended and the other began.


	3. Adamant

The journey there had been a non event, before leaving Cullen and Dorian shared a chaste kiss before going their separate ways, Cullen to ready the troops, Dorian to the inquisitor. Now Cullen was wading through waves of wayward wardens and darkspawn, cutting a path for the inquisitor and the team. The troops had bashed a hole through the gates of Adamant Fortress with a battering ram, his men infiltrated, he walked through the Heralds party close on his heels.  
“We’ve cleared a path for you, but our men can’t get a foothold, if you can clear the battlements we might stand a chance” Trevelyan nodded and started ahead, weaving his way into the fortress, he and Dorian shared a look, and then he was gone, following the inquisitor and Cullen was slicing down more foes. 

Cullen fought meticulously with this men, with precision born of leadership, he slaughtered all who stood against him. With the battlements clear, the tide had turned in their favour, Cullen and his men had just bought down a pride demon when he saw Dorians magic sparking on a battlement above him, Varric nicknamed him Sparkler and it was easy to see why, Cullen thought he could be faced with every mage in Thedas and he’d still recognise Dorians flare among them. 

Cullen was bought back to reality by a group of corrupt wardens charging at them. The fighting was hard but eventually the battlement was clear, hope sprung in his chest, they were winning! When he looked to the spot he’d last seen Dorian, he saw him further into the fortress, on a long wide bridge facing down the arch demon, Warden Commander Clarel by their side. Hope fled as soon as it arrived, Cullen couldn’t bear to look away, he watched as the bridge broke, he watched a rift open and he watched his lover, his Sparkler, the light of his life fall through it.   
Cullen felt as though he’d been punched in the gut, all the air from his lungs expelling at once in a shout. He ran toward the place, he came to an area where a rift was still open, if-WHEN- they returned surely it would be here, Cullen reasoned. Soldiers had followed him, not knowing what else to do, soldiers already surrounding the rift looked perplexed,  
“Where is the Herald?” One called out, no response, Cullens throat too constricted to speak. Cassandra emerged, battle weary and covered in muck, dimly Cullen thought he must be in a similar state.   
“This is the last place I saw the Inquisitor and his party run to, where is he? Where is Axl?” She asked, her face turning from fatigue to alert and frightened almost instantly.   
“Cullen?” She walked towards him, he sword still in hand. Cullen coughed, blinking rapidly he replied  
“He was on the bridge when it collapsed, the arch demon was there, they fell, he opened a rift and they fell through” Cullen stared at her, she embraced him,   
“They will return to us, we must wait for them” And she stood, still as stone, beside him, staring as he was, into the rift.

Would they return? Could they? To be physically in the fade.. Axl had done it, but he had the anchor to protect him, Dorian.. oh Dorian. Not dead, not dead please not dead. Cullen was aware he was being shook, someone was trying to talk to him, it took great effort to listen.  
“Commander? Ser? What are we to do with the injured? The fortress is clear there are no more dark spawn and the wardens that remain are uncorrupted and fought beside us, we won” Then why does he feel so hollow?  
“Tend to the wounded, send them to the nearest Keep, I’ll stay here”  
“But Ser-”   
“That was an order, Ser Barris” Cullen growled, Barris nodded and left to carry out his orders.

Cullen stood, watching the murky green tear in the fabric of the world in front of him wondering if he could step through, would he emerge in the fade? Or would he walk through it as one would mist? If he could make it through, alive, he could find Dorian. He looked to Cassandra to propose his theory, she was already looking at him, she shook her head only slightly, but enough for Cullen to realise she had been contemplating the same, and if it were possible, they would surely die.

Cullen closed his eyes and prayed, his head was throbbing, his body ached now that the fighting had stopped exhaustion was settling in his limbs but still he stood, vigilant, praying. He would wait, come what may he would wait for Dorian to return to him. He thought about the best times he’d had with Dorian, the first time they kissed, that one time they sparred together but ended up turning each other on so much they left abruptly to fuck in his office, the first time they made love, the violets, staying up all night to talk to eachother about everything and nothing, when they’d tried on eachothers armour and fell about themselves laughing at the ridiculousness of it, the time Cullen snuck into the kitchen to steal a blueberry pie for Dorian for breakfast, they had fed it to eachother, accidently – on purpose making a mess of eachothers faces, laughing covered in crumbs stealing blueberry kisses. Cullen willed his tears not to fall, Corypheus could have the blighted world if he wants, but he won’t have Dorian. 

Commotion ahead made Cullen open his eyes, he had been there for what felt like an eternity, the rift began to morph, altering it’s shape, the soldiers raised their weapons in preparation, Cullen and Cassandra did to, then Axl, Solas, Cole and Dorian all but fell out of it, he dropped his sword, uncaring of any damage it might have caused and closed the distance between them in 3 long strides. 

Cullen knelt and scooped Dorian into his arms, Dorian looked at him with glassy eyes, his body trembling.  
“Cullen?” His voice broke, Cullen pulled him in to a tight embrace, burying his face in Dorians hair as he crumpled into his chest, breathing in his smell.   
“Dorian, sshh it’s okay you’re safe, we’re safe, I’ve got you” Dorian sobbed, Cullen held him. The Inquisitor stood on shaky legs and closed the rift, he collapsed on Cassandra, who caught him before he hit the floor. Cole and Solas were speaking in hushed tones and he felt Dorian stir in his arms, he looked up, eyes more alert than before.  
“You waited for me?”  
“Of course, I always do” Cullen cradled his head in his hands, brushing his thumb over Dorians cheek. They gathered themselves up and with the last of their men, and the wardens, prepared to leave. Cullen held onto Dorian the entire time, only when he thought he was lost to him, did he realise how much this man had come to mean to him.


	4. Skyhold

They had been at Skyhold a few days, everyone was recuperating from the ordeal. They had won, but they had big losses and Cullen grimly compiled a list of all who had fallen, so they would be remembered. Dorian was asleep in his bed while he sat at his desk, he hadn’t spoken much about what had happened in the fade, but Cullen knew it must be awful so didn’t push him. He had just closed his door to a runner, taking the list to Leliana, when Dorian called for him. Cullen called back and started up the ladder, Dorian hadn’t been sleeping well, reliving whatever horrors he had faced in the fade, he needed constant reassurance of Cullens presence. 

“Sorry love I was writing a list of everyone we lost at Adamant” he took off his outer clothes, leaving him in just breeches, and climbed into bed to cuddle the mage. Dorian nodded, his face solemn as he rested his head to Cullens chest. Cullen ran his fingers over Dorians bare back, he murmured in his ear   
“When I saw you fall, I thought I had lost you, all I could think about was how good you’ve made my life Dorian, and that damn blueberry pie” Dorian chuckled, Cullen smiled at the sound.  
“In the fade, we faced Fear, but before that we faced smaller Nightmares. All I saw was you, dead, or dying, I couldn’t stand it. The thought of living without you-” Dorian stopped and took a deep breath.  
“I’m here, I’m alive” Cullen held Dorians head closer to him, so he could hear his heart beating.   
“I thought of the pie to, and all those blasted blueberry stains, and you, pinning me down and kissing me with your blueberry mouth. My magic turned blue” Cullen was grinning, but he was uncertain about the last bit,  
“What do you mean?”   
“My base magic, the sparkles Varric is so fond of, have always been red, in the fade they came out blue. I thought maybe, as everything else their is different, that magic was to but I’ve tried since being home and it’s still blue” Dorian propped himself up, held up a hand and blue wisps emerge.  
“Being with you has changed me, in the best of ways” Dorian kisses him, Cullen feels a goofy smile spread over his face.  
“I wanted to ask you, when this is all over, what happens to us?” Cullen asks, hesitant.   
“I must return to Tevinter, I-” Dorian sighs, ready to segue into his big speech he’s had ready for a few months now about why he has to go home, when Cullen interrupts him,  
“Then I’ll come with you” Cullen states simply,  
“Wait, what?” Dorian entirely dumbfounded, Cullen laughs,  
“I can’t live without you Dorian, I’ll follow you wherever you go, if you’ll have me” He blushes and in that moment Dorian knows it might be selfish but he wants it, wants Cullen to come with him, wants them to never part. He doesn’t respond with words, he surges forward and kisses the blonde. 

Manoeuvring so he sits astride him, his fingers made quick work of the laces on Cullens breeches and he slowly sinks down on the Commanders cock. He leans to kiss him again, breathing an “I love you” at him as he leans back and slowly begins to fuck Cullen.   
He braces his arms behind him, on Cullens thighs as he raises himself up, until the tip is stretching his hole, he teases Cullen as he tries to buck his hips up into the velvet, slick heat, whining in frustration. Dorian moans as he impales himself on Cullens cock over and over, setting a relentless pace that has Cullen writhing, fingers digging into his hips. Dorian leans forward, so close to coming, Cullen pulls him into his chest and thrusts up into him ferociously. It knocks the air out of Dorian, his eyes are rolling, Cullen growls in his ear he feels the warmth of his come fill his arse, Cullen pinches his nipple and that has Dorian moaning and spilling himself between them. 

After a moment Dorian rolls off of Cullen and catches his breath Cullen lays on his side to watch him,  
“So I’m coming with you?” he asks, still unsure of Dorians wants  
“Yes Amatus, for as long as you can bear it I want you with me” he snarks, but he’s half serious, he knows Cullen would be giving up a lot to follow him over the Waking Sea.  
“What if that’s forever?” Cullen whispers, blushing gloriously, not meeting Dorians eye  
“Nothing would make me happier” Dorian smiles, and they kiss. Cullen rolls to lay atop Dorian when he misjudges and they both tumble out of bed, laughing, they kiss laying on the wooden floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How does everyone feel about Bottom!Cullen? I'm toying with the idea but wasn't sure if people would want to read that, let me know! :)


End file.
